Tiger By The Tail
by Mahler Avatar
Summary: When Kim accepts a last minute babysitting job, she finds out that she may have bitten off more than she can chew when she locks horns with an irascible 6 year old named Calvin and his toy tiger, Hobbes. But things get really dicey when she's called away on an emergency mission vs. Dr. Drakken, unknowingly bringing along a tiny stowaway. A Kim Possible/Calvin & Hobbes crossover.
1. A Desperate Call

_Kim Possible has faced many foes and villains, from mad scientists bent on taking over the world to insidious aliens determined to subjugate our planet. But there is one specific challenge she has never faced: a terror so devious and a force so elemental as to defy all reason, and therefore, any hope of control. Ironically, it is a mischievous six-year-old boy and his stuffed toy tiger. A boy named... Calvin._

_As the saying goes, when an irresistable force meets an immovable object, something's got to give. This is their story..._

_And the standard disclaimers apply: Kim Possible and Calvin and Hobbes are both owned by their respective copyright owners, and I gain nothing from this financially. But I do get quite a kick out of writing stories like this. Especially since I was very much like Calvin as a child. Just ask my parents. _

_And leave a review, I'll give you a repsonse and perhaps a hint of what's to come... _

* * *

The father pulled into the driveway after a long day at work. He smiled, patting the exquisitely wrapped anniversary present sitting on the seat beside him. His wife would be wearing that new diamond broach while they enjoyed a quiet, relaxing dinner at the swankiest restaurant in Upperton, _Chez Couteaux_. He walked up to the front door of his home with a jaunty spring in his step, confident in the belief that his wife had found a babysitter for their son Calvin. His mind was at complete ease on this issue, as he had specifically asked her to take care of that as he rushed out the door to work that morning.

Or so he thought.

Inside, the wife smiled as she saw her husband walking up the path, thankful that he obtained the services of a sitter while they went out for their anniversary dinner that evening. For as he was leaving the house early that morning, she had clearly heard him say that he'd take care of getting one.

Or so she thought.

As he walked through the door, both the husband and wife simultaneously queried the other, "Well, who did you get?"

Their respective eyes widened in fear as he stumbled, "What do you mean who did _I _get? Who did _you_ get? Didn't you hear me ask you to find a babysitter when I left this morning?"

She growled back, "No, what I heard was that _you _would get a sitter..."

"No, I asked _would _you get a sitter! And I distinctly heard you answer, 'Okay dear.' Or was I hearing things?"

"No, I was acknowledging what I thought I heard _you _say, which was that _you_ would get a sitter..."

Panic immediately began to set in.

He frantically babbled, "Quick, get our master list! I'll take the first page and use my cell phone while you take the second page and use the landline! We haven't a moment to lose!"

A half hour later they were both close to admitting defeat. The wife bemoaned, "No luck at all, honey. I called Rosalyn first of course, but she just laughed and hung up on me."

He lamented, "Well, I guess that's not surprising, since Calvin flushed her biology homework down the toilet the last time she was here."

With an air of trepidation, she asked, "So, how did you do with your calls?"

He groused back, "I didn't even get _that_ far. Most people just hung up on me without saying even a single word, just as soon as I mentioned Calvin's name."

"What are we going to do, then? _Chez Cousteaux_ will permanently blacklist us if we cancel the reservation at this late hour!"

He suggested, "Well, we _could_ take him with us..."

Both of them broke out in hysterical laughter at the thought. Wiping a tear from her eye, she replied, "Okay, seriously..."

Taking off his glasses and massaging the bridge of his nose, he muttered back, "All right, let me check the internet real quick. Maybe there's someone I can find who's never heard of Calvin _and_ doesn't live over fifty miles away."

She sadly shook her head back and forth. "You _do_ believe in miracles, don't you?"

He sat down at the computer and frantically typed a few words into the search engine. 'Babysitter, Tri-City Area.'

"Well, here goes nothing." He closed his eyes as he hit the 'Enter' button.

Fearfully peeking through squinted eyes, he was surprised to see the link to a website appear.

"Kim Possible dot com?" He continued to read the home page description.

'_The Girl Who Can Do Anything: World-saving, Cheerleading and Babysitting my specialty!'_

"Well, kind of an unusual skill set if I do say so, but beggars can't be choosers..."

Hardly believing his luck, he typed in his name, email address and phone number in the fields provided. Hitting the 'Send' button, he lifted up his eyes and breathed a silent prayer. "Please, please, dear Lord, make this person available, whoever she is..."

* * *

Wade was casually slurping a soda when his computer began urgently beeping. Thinking that it might be a law enforcement agency warning Kim of yet another break-in by a mad scientist into a top secret lab, he instantly accessed the message. Relaxing a bit after discovering that it was only a request for a babysitter, he signalled Kim.

_Beep Beep BEE Beep_...

The redheaded teen immediately answered. "What's the sitch, Wade?"

"A hit on your website, Kim."

"What, another bad guy needing the Team Possible treatment?"

"No, a babysitting job, actually. Maybe not as exciting as capturing another supervillain I'm sure, but they're sure willing to pay well."

"When's the gig?"

"Tonight, and beginning just an hour from now. They must be desperate, Kim. You might even be able to hold out for a little more money if you play your cards right."

She smiled. "Ever the businessman, eh, Wade?"

He shrugged. "Hey, it's what I do."

Kim huffed, "Well, this _is_ 'Ron night,' but I sure could use the money, especially since it's only three weeks until Christmas, and I really would like to get him a nice present. So I'm sure he'll understand. That is to say, I _hope_ he'll understand..."

Kim picked up the phone and dialed the number Wade had given to her. Someone instantly answered even before the first ring had finished.

"Hello, Mr. Watterson? This is Kim Possible. I understand you need a sitter for tonight? Yes, I can do it, and... Mr. Watterson, are you okay? It sounds like you're crying... oh, tears of joy, huh? Uh, that's really great..."

A short time later, and after a rather tense convo with her boyfriend Ron Stoppable, along with a promise to make it up to him the next evening, Kim was driving her SL coupe toward her last-minute gig. But Ron's warning continued to ring in her ears.

"_I don't know, KP, but I've got a bad feeling about this. I've heard quite a few rumors about that kid, and none of them good. He seems to be about a hundred miles of wrongsick road, so please be careful..." _

Kim gave an off-handed shrug as she turned onto the street where the home was located. "Hey, it's just a six-year-old kid. Just how bad could he possibly be, anyway?"

She quickly spotted the address and pulled into the driveway. When she got out of the car, her mouth immediately dropped open at the frozen tableux that met her astounded eyes.

"Whoa..."

In the front yard before her stood a half dozen snowmen. But these weren't your usual joyful winter creations, and 'stood' was a term best used very loosely. One snowman was using the next snowman's head like a bowling ball, and another had been apparently cut in half by a speeding sled. Yet another had been built around a tree, giving the impression that the hapless snowman had been impaled by said tree. The next one had three eyes of coal, two carrot noses and a hideous grin on its ghastly face. The last snowman looked like it was trying to climb out of the snow-covered earth as if it were a frozen zombie.

Kim involuntarily shivered, and not just because of the cold. "Wow, this kid obviously has a few issues. Still, I get the strange feeling that Ron would be right at home here..."

But someone else had just noticed her arrival. From behind the curtains in the upstairs window, the eyes of a fearful six-year old peered out.

"Oh, no! A baby-sitter! Red alert, Hobbes!"

"Well, at least it's not Rosalyn," answered his pet tiger. To anyone else, Hobbes appeared as a toy stuffed animal. But Calvin knew better.

The tyke continued, "Yeah, but she looks awfully scary with that fiery red hair of hers. What if she turns out to be even _worse_ than Rosalyn?"

Hobbes shrugged, "Well, let's go and find out."

Calvin continued with a wicked grin. "Yeah, good idea. But a preemptive strike might be _just_ the thing to keep her off balance."

The tiger gave a pleasant growl deep in his throat. "Sounds good to me. The best defense is a good offense, so I've heard..."

Outside, Kim took a deep breath, and walked up to the front door.

"Well, here goes nothing..."

_**TBC...**_


	2. Opening Shots

_Based on all the reviews and follows this fic has gotten so far, this definitely seems to be a story whose time has finally come. _

_But before Kim and Calvin continue along the edge of the Grand Canyon in a red sports car at 100 miles an hour right before the steering locks and the brakes fail (let the reader understand...), first, a big round of thanks to my faithful KP comrades and reviewers Sentinel103, Eddy13, CajunBear73, Jimmy1201 and temporaryinsanity91, and to those new to the KP franchise (and my particular brand of insanity): Fanatic97 (I won't leave you in the lurch, I promise!), Comet Moon (Right back at you!), and PabloPenquin1800 (Welcome, and there's much more to come...) _

_And leave a review, get a reply. What a deal! Now, in the words of Calvin, _"_The neighbors hear the boom echoing across the canyon... They pile into a mini-van to investigate... What will happen to them?_"

* * *

_Opening Shots_

Even before Kim had a chance to ring the doorbell, the door flew open to reveal Calvin's relieved father, warmly greeting her and gushing with thanks.

"Kim Possible? It's so nice to meet you! I can't tell you how glad I am that you could make it on such short notice. You're a real lifesaver!"

She smiled back politely. "So I'm told. So, where's Calvin?"

The sproing of a toy gun being fired was instantly heard, as Calvin scored a direct hit on Kim's forehead with a suction-cupped dart.

Without skipping a beat, Kim deduced, "Ah, the kid behind the trigger of that dart gun, I assume?"

As Calvin's mom apologized profusely to Kim, the father hunched down and fixed his rebellious son with an angry stare.

"Calvin, you will apologize to Kim _right now_, young man!"

Calvin huffed, "Sorry."

Hobbes snickered, "Liar. You're just sorry you didn't get off a second shot."

The mischievous child snickered back gleefully.

His father continued in a stern voice, "Now while we're gone, you will behave and do everything that Kim tells you. Or else I have two words for you: _Protective Services._"

The boy responded with a puzzled look. "Huh?"

Hobbes whispered something in Calvin's ear. The child swallowed convulsively, now fully comprehending his father's implied threat.

"Uh, right, Dad. Got it."

With an embarrassed smile, the father turned back to Kim. "Here's the number of the restaurant you can reach us at, if necessary."

He thought fearfully, "_And I fervently hope that it WON'T be necessary_..."

He continued, "We should be home no later than 11 pm or so. Thanks again, and good luck."

With a catch in her voice, his wife tearfully added, "Goodbye, Kim."

Kim thought that sounded more like a last farewell than a mere bye-bye, see you later.

A moment later, and they were gone. Kim shivered as she recalled Ron's warning. _"That kid's a hundred miles of wrongsick road..."_

As Kim turned to address her young charge, the scene slowly morphed into a desolate, barren landscape on the dusty surface of a distant planet. A dim sun shown down on Calvin as he found himself surveying his tiny red flying saucer, wrecked beyond repair after yet another crash landing.

Adjusting his black rectangular goggles, he bemoaned, "Once again, Spaceman Spiff is stranded on an alien world without any hope of rescue. He must now scout around for food and water in order to survive."

Suddenly, he heard the horrifying shriek of an alien life form rapidly approaching.

"Zounds! It's a grotesque Scum Being! Our hero must run for cover before he's spotted!"

Diving behind a rock outcropping, he pulled out his Death Ray Zorcher just as the alien reached out for him with its monstrous limbs. Scowling back with a look of fierce defiance, he opened fire.

"Eat hot death, you malodorous monster!"

But his weapon had no effect.

"What's this? Spaceman Spiff is defenseless against the hideous beast! Is it all over for our intrepid explorer?"

Grabbing Calvin out from behind the living room couch, Kim wrenched the water pistol out of his hand.

"All right, Calvin! Gimme that! And before you pull any other crazy stunts, let's set some ground rules _right now_. Rule One: no more water pistols, dart guns or any other toy weapons! But I'll make you a deal. If you behave, you get to stay up until 10. If not, you go to bed _right_ after dinner. Clear?"

"Aw, but Mom and Dad always let me stay up late on Fridays!" he whined.

"Well, I'm not them, am I? Besides, you should have thought about that before soaking me with that water pistol. So if you _don't_ want me to become your worst nightmare, you'll do everything I ask without question, understood?"

Hobbes whispered, "Boy, is she strict."

Calvin muttered, "Yeah, and I think she _is_ almost as bad as Rosalyn."

Kim snapped back, "What was that, Calvin?"

"Nothing..." he moaned.

Kim had learned long ago that if you gave a child an inch, he would take a mile. But she was quickly realizing that Calvin would probably take anything right up to a light year if she wasn't careful. As she rung out her wet hair, she realized that Ron's warning to her wasn't to be taken lightly. She would be taking no chances with this kid, that was for certain.

"Okay, now it's time for dinner. Your mom didn't have any time to fix anything since she and your Dad were too busy trying to find you a sitter, so it looks like it's macaroni and cheese tonight."

Calvin stuck out his tongue and made a face. "Yuchh."

Kim shot back, "Hey, it's good for you, and it's a lot more than a lot of other kids on this planet are getting to eat tonight, so don't complain."

He groaned, "Boy, she sounds just like Mom."

Hobbes brightened up. "Hey, maybe Kim can add some tuna to it! Tigers _love_ tuna."

Calvin perked up as well. "Yeah! Can you add some tuna to that, Kim? You wouldn't want Hobbes to starve, now, would you?"

Kim cautiously scratched her chin. "Well, I guess that would be all right..."

Smiling, Calvin sat down at the table and tied a napkin around Hobbes neck.

The tiger began to gasp, "Too tight! Too tight!"

The young boy loosened it, but Hobbes complained again, "Aw, now it's too baggy. So now I'll get food all over my fur."

Calvin griped, "Hey, do it _yourself _then if you don't like the way I do it!"

Hobbes airily replied, "Well, if you did it right in the first place, I wouldn't have to complain."

"Hey, I've had just about enough of your lip, you mangy, flea-bitten..."

Hobbes snarled back, "Hey! _Who's _mangy and flea-bitten? I spend hours grooming myself every day. You ever take a look at _yourself _in the mirror?"

Hobbes gave him a push, and Calvin pushed back even harder. The tiger let out a fierce growl deep in his throat as he took another swipe at Calvin, who had finally had enough.

"All right you scuzbag, that's it!"

And the fight was on, each of them snarling, biting and scratching the other, racing around the kitchen like a whirlwind. Chasing Hobbes into the living room, Calvin smashed into an end table, knocking over a lamp which fell to the floor with a loud crash. Quickly pursuing them, Kim barely had time to prevent the china cabinet that Calvin had just slammed into from toppling over in his pursuit of Hobbes.

Grabbing them both by their collars, Kim screamed, "KNOCK IT OFF, RIGHT NOW!"

Calvin wriggled helplessly in her grasp while bitterly complaining, "He started it! He didn't like the way I tied his napkin!"

Kim slammed both the unruly child and his toy tiger into their chairs, desperately wishing that she had something to actually tie up the defiant youngster with. Quickly tying napkins around each of their necks, she growled, "Now you just sit there and behave, and do not even _think_ of moving from that spot until you dinner is ready!"

Hobbes happily beamed back, "Hah! Kim fastened my napkin _perfectly_. It's just right, in fact. And if you had done it correctly in the first place, none of this would have happened."

The smug tiger ended his taunt by sticking his tongue out at Calvin, who nearly began to fight back again before deciding it wasn't worth it.

"Besides," Hobbes added with a smirk, "I think she _likes_ me."

Calvin sneered back, "Yeah, in your dreams, you moron."

While she prepared dinner, Kim marveled over Calvin's relentless energy, realizing that there was nothing that the Tweebs had over him in any way, shape or form.

She mused, "_Wow, I wonder if his folks have tried putting him on Ritalin. But that would probably be just about as effective as using a squirt gun on a forest fire_."

As she dished up his plate, she continued to wonder, "_And that toy tiger of his... he treats it almost as if it were alive. Hmm. Maybe I can threaten to take it away from him as a last-ditch resort, if that becomes necessary_..."

She placed the plate of food in front of the boisterous tyke. "There you go. Mac, cheese and tuna. Are you happy now?"

She heaved a resigned sigh. "_And I'll never complain about eating at Bueno Nacho ever again_..."

But before Calvin began to dig in, he complained, "Hey, there's only one plate here. What about Hobbes' dinner?"

Having realized how inseparable Calvin was from Hobbes, Kim decided to play along. "Why don't you two share? Then once you've both finished with that, you can both have seconds."

"Well, okay..." He began to stir up the gooey glop, stretching out the melted cheese from his plate with his fork. Making a face at the stringy mess, it snapped back like a rubber band. And then it began to snicker evilly back at him.

"_Hey, kid! I'm not going down without a fight!_"

A gooey tentacle reached out to slap him in the face, followed by another which wrapped itself around his arm.

"_I've got you now, kid!_"

Calvin let out a yell as yet another slimy feeler extended around his other arm.

"_The tables sure are turned now, aren't they? Time to feed YOU to my children!_"

He instantly lashed back, "No way, you putrid plate of pathetic pasta!"

And with that, he fiercely began stabbing the hapless mess, mangling the glutinous paste and splattering it all over the table as well as the kitchen wall.

"CALVIN! WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

With an innocent look, he suddenly looked up at the fuming teen, the color of her face now very close to the hue of her flaming red hair.

"No problem, Kim. I killed it before it could get me. Everything's under control now."

Kim stared at him in wonder as he continued eating as if nothing had happened.

Ron's voice began echoing again through her mind. "_wrongsick road... wrongsick road..._"

She sadly wagged her head. "Boy, this is going to be one_ looooong_ night..."

After noticing what time it was, Calvin quickly finished his dinner, grabbed Hobbes and ran into the living room, closely followed by Kim.

"All right you little deviant. What are you up to now?"

Calvin switched on the TV set. "Mom and Dad always let me stay up and watch movies with Hobbes!"

Kim folded her arms. "Oh, really?" She wasn't quite convinced, but decided to play along. "And what movie were you planning on watching?"

Calvin grinned back, "Attack of the Coed Zombie Vixens. It starts in five minutes."

Kim's eyes shot wide open. "Uh, so not going to happen."

He whined back, "Aw, c'mon! I have to watch it for one of my classes and do a report!"

Kim simply gave him a huge roll of her eyes.

Hobbes whispered, "She's not buying it..."

Calvin huffed, "Well, duh, Mr. Smartypants."

Kim grinned back, "Nice try, Calvin, but you're just making that up. And I think you'd have to be a _lot_ older first before your parents would allow you to watch a movie like that." _If you live that long, that is. _

She tapped her chin. "But come to think of it, it does actually sound like the kind of movie Ron would like..."

After scrolling through the program guide, she pleasantly announced, "Now, _here's _a movie I think your parents would approve of you watching. It's an animated classic on the Disney Channel."

Calvin took a look and grumbled, "_The Impossibles_? Yeah, it's okay I guess..."

Hobbes was much more excited, however. "Hey, it's great movie, with awesome superheroes and good family values!"

Calvin snarled back, "Yeah, exactly _your _kind of movie, you sissy."

Kim tried to remain upbeat. "While you two get comfortable, I'll go make us some popcorn. How does that sound?"

Hobbes replied, "Sounds great to me. Tigers are always hungry for a snack."

But Calvin remained a tad miffed. "I'd still rather watch that zombie vixen movie, but at least _The Impossibles_ has a few superheroes in it. They're just not as cool as Stupendous Man or Captain Napalm."

A few minutes later, Kim returned with a bowl of popcorn. She opted not to serve any soda pop, especially anything with caffeine in it, given Calvin's non-stop hyperactivity. However, she was strongly tempted to give him some soda spiked with a little brandy she had spotted on the kitchen shelf, but quickly dismissed the idea.

With a heavy sigh she grumbled, "As tempting as that might be, I'd never work in this town again..."

After a few minutes, Calvin seemed to be engrossed in the movie, so after they finished their popcorn she excused herself.

"Calvin, I have some ferociously tough trigonometry homework I have to finish, so I'll be in the kitchen while you watch the movie. Just call me if you need anything. And please don't burn the house down in the meantime?"

She immediately added, "Seriously?"

A frightening thought suddenly passed through her mind. "_Brrrr. I just hope I haven't given him any ideas, like I have with Ron. The kid's obviously got a wilder imagination than Ron EVER had..._"

A half hour later, Kim realized that Calvin had been awfully quiet for an unusually long time. If she had had a spider sense, it would have definitely been tingling right about now.

"Calvin?"

Sensing that the unruly child was once again up to no good, she carefully walked back into the living room. Hobbes was still on the couch, but Calvin was nowhere to be found. She tiredly began to massage her aching temples.

"Oh, great, here we go again..." She called through the house, "Calvin, where are you?"

No reply.

"Wonderful. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm on a mission against a super villain instead of on a simple babysitting gig?"

She thought she heard a slight noise upstairs, and stealthily began ascending the stairway.

"Calvin, what are you up to? Come back downstairs right now, before I..."

Her sentence was cut short as a crimson blur dropped on her from above. With a wild war cry, Calvin yelled, "Liberty and justice will forever triumph over oppression, evil Sitter Woman!"

Kim's reflexes had been honed to a fine edge after her many years as a crime-fighting cheerleader, and this evening was no exception. Easily sidestepping the plunging imp, she grabbed his cape. Calvin instantly found himself hanging impotently from his superhero outfit, flailing away in midair.

Within his mind, Calvin's superhero identity suddenly began to weaken. "What's happening? My powers are useless against Sitter Woman! But I thought _nothing _could defeat Stupendous Man?"

Kim lifted him up until she was eye to eye with the wildly obstinate child. "Guess again, you little rugrat. In the real world, I'm known as the Girl Who Can Do Anything. And don't you forget it. Oh, and by the way..."

She reached into her pocket and removed a slip of paper. "You know what this is?"

He shot back with a churlish look. "No, what?"

She spoke softly, but imbued every word with a sense of menace. "The telephone number of _Chez Couteaux_, the restaurant where your parents are enjoying their anniversary dinner. You wouldn't want me to_ spoil _that by having to call them and cut their evening short, would you?"

Calvin suddenly looked appalled. "You wouldn't!"

Grinning back at him in triumph, she growled, "Oh, _wouldn't_ I?"

He finally ceased his struggling, but still managed to glare back at Kim. "Hmph. I guess this is just another moral victory for Stupendous Man."

He started to lighten up a bit. "But I gotta say, that was a totally amazing catch. Where did you learn a move like that?"

She replied offhandedly, "If you must know, seven years of cheerleading and four years of crime fighting."

Calvin's jaw dropped. "Wow! You really fight crime? As in _real_ bad guys?"

As she lowered him to the floor, Kim answered, "You bet. And I've mastered some ferocious martial arts skills too, including sixteen forms of Kung Fu."

"Cool! Then you _are_ some kind of superhero, aren't you?"

Amazed that she was starting to get a little respect from the tiny terror, she replied, "Not really. I just use my talents to help people whenever possible. No big," she added with a shrug.

She thought to herself, "_Unlike some kids who make my life a living hell..."_

Out loud she commanded, "But you've had enough fun for one night, Calvin. Time for bed."

"Aw, shucks! I don't want to go to bed yet..."

She held up the slip of paper, whereupon the child immediately caved.

"Oh, all right..."

As he grumpily marched downstairs to retrieve Hobbes, he passed by a small planter filled with his mom's flowers. A wicked smile broke out on his tiny face as the scene once again began to change.

"Calvin suddenly shrinks down in size, no bigger than a mouse. He'll hide from Kim behind this huge jungle flower!"

But instead, he began to sink into the muddy jungle floor as he made a terrible realization.

"Aarghh! This mud is radioactive! It transforms Calvin into a grotesque dinosaur!"

He began to snarl as he tried to free himself from the sticky sludge.

"Caked in thick, gooey mud, the hideous monster emerges from the primeval bog, ready to catch any unsuspecting passers-by unawares. Nothing can stop him now!"

From the other room, Kim called out, "Calvin, did you wash up before going to bed?"

He answered from beneath hooded eyes, a devilish smile widening on his tiny face. "Why don't you come and see?"

Forewarned by Calvin's tone of voice, Kim quickly grabbed a washcloth and a bar of soap, preparing once again to do battle. With a fierce war cry, she charged into the room and grabbed the recalcitrant child.

"Hey, quit it! Let go!" he yelled.

"Calvin, you're a filthy mess! It looks like you got hit by a round of artillery!"

Calvin proudly shot back, "Yeah, well maybe I did! A mere mortal couldn't survive a shell and live to tell about it, but Stupendous Man is invulnerable!"

Kim dragged him into the bathroom and furiously began scrubbing away. "Well, you're not invulnerable to soap and water, and that's exactly what you're going to get!"

Ten minutes later, and with the bathroom floor now ankle deep in water, Calvin was finally washed, dried and dressed for bed. Kim was exhausted, but at least she had won this latest round, once again triumphing as the proverbial immovable object versus the irresistible force that was Calvin.

As Kim flipped off the light and closed his bedroom door, she mumbled to herself, "Wow, talk about a Pyrrhic victory. That kid is more of workout than even our fiercest cheer routines. And now I'm so exhausted that I don't think I have the energy to concentrate on my homework." She added with a heavy sigh, "No amount of money is worth this kind of hassle. I wonder if Club Banana needs any extra part-time help over the holidays..."

Curled up in his bed, Calvin let out a small sigh. "Well, at least we made it to 8:45."

"And that's longer than we usually make it with Rosalyn. But a story still would be nice."

Calvin sat right up. "What a great idea, Hobbes!"

His closest friend continued, "Just make sure she tells us a story with tigers in them."

Calvin called out, "Hey, Kim! Tell us a bedtime story!"

Kim opened the door and gave him a long-suffering look. "A bedtime story? Seriously?"

"Sure! You can tell me about one of your adventures! Please?"

Figuring that she could probably keep his attention better and a closer eye on him as well by telling a story, she finally relented. In any case, it would be less tiring than having to chase him around the house once again after he got bored.

"All right. But you have to promise to listen, and then once I'm done, it's lights out and no more monkey business. Deal?"

Calvin eagerly beamed back, "Deal!"

Kim sat down at the end of the bed and began her tale. "Once upon a time, there was an evil villain named Dr. Drakken..."

_**Next week: Bedtime Story...  
**_


	3. Bedtime Story

_First off, a Happy New Year to all those in the Kimmunity, and also to all of those new to my particular brand of insanity: CajunBear73, Sentinel 103, TemporaryInsanity91, Eddy13, Fanatic97, Beckman, Jimmy1201, Katsumara, CometMoon, Soulfulbard, SeaJade, Sharper the Writer, G'n, and several Guests. Family health has prevented me from updating sooner, bur fear not, the Power of Imagination is still alive and well. So I hope you will enjoy my next offering, in the spirit of family, friends, and the the joy of the new year_...

* * *

Kim tried to think of which of her many encounters with Drakken and Shego she could recount to the terrible tyke in order to keep him entertained until he finally grew tired and fell asleep. She decided to retell the story of her most recent clash, since the memories were fresh in her mind. And thanks to Wade's brilliant tech abilities, fully documented.

"The mad scientist was nearly six feet tall, and had light blue skin that he'd been cursed with because, because..."

She hesitated, realizing that after all these years, she still didn't know how Drakken had gotten his peculiar cerulean coloring.

"Uh, because of a terrible lab accident gone horribly wrong."

Calvin perked up. "Ooh! Just like the Laugher, Batguy's arch enemy!"

"Uh, yeah, right, exactly! Anyway, he was always trying to take over the world, but could never quite make his plans work, even with the help of his sidekick, Shego. Shego was much younger than him and very slender, with long, raven-colored hair that extended down below her waist. She had green eyes, and in contrast to Dr. Drakken, had pale green skin. She wore a tight-fitting harlequin-patterned leotard in her trademark colors of black and green, and was even more evil than Dr. Drakken. When she wasn't busy stealing things for her boss, she loved to spend time sharpening the claws at the end of her black gloves..."

Calvin frowned. "Say, this isn't a romance, is it? They're not going to kiss or anything, are they?" He made a disgusted face as he stuck out his tongue. "Yuchh."

Kim smiled back, "Oh, no. Quite the opposite. Shego was just too snarky and sarcastic. She was single, but not-so-secretly, she thoroughly despised her boss."

Hobbes eyes lit up. "Hey, then she's available? You know how I love the babes, especially ones with claws and green eyes."

Calvin gave him a swat. "Cut it out, I'm trying to listen, you moron. Okay?"

Kim arched an eyebrow, naturally not having heard what Hobbes had just said. "What was that, Calvin?"

"Oh, nothing. Just trying to keep Hobbes in line, that's all."

"Yeah, riiiiight. Anyway, Drakken would often say to her, 'Don't give me any lip, Shego. You are my henchwoman, and I pay you very well for your services.' "

This time it was Calvin's eyes that lit up. "Hey! That sounds just like what Dad says to Mom all the time!"

Kim paled at that little revelation as she thought to herself, "_Hmm. I'm beginning to see where this kid gets some of his issues..._"

Kim continued with her story.

Shego chided, "Hey Dr. D? What's your latest plan? The one that I'm absolutely positive will fail, by the way, but since I don't have anything else better to do..."

Drakken sneered back, "Again with the negative comments, Shego? I daresay if you spent as much time actually assisting me as you do sharpening those claws of yours and using me as a verbal scratching post, we would already be ruling the world!"

"Yeah, sure, Doc. So let me guess, your plan is to use some kind of superweapon you've built, or more likely stolen, in order to cow the world into submission. And you'll tell everyone that it's useless to resist, and they'll all be better off if they simply give up right now and bow before your awesome greatness, yada-yada. Right?"

Oblivious to her sarcastic tone, his eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Exactly right, Shego! The world will be such a better place once everyone realizes that." He added with an evil chuckle, "For _me_ at least, that is..."

As Kim continued to spin her tale, Calvin whispered, "Are you buying any of this, Hobbes?"

His pet tiger gave him a sidelong glance. "Well, to be fair, I'll need to give her a little more time before I pass judgment. Considering some of the whoppers _you've_ come up with in the past, this actually seems a little tame in comparison."

Calvin gave him a particularly dirty look, to which Hobbes merely grinned back, "But I have to say, it sure beats the heck out of listening to _Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie_ for the hundredth time."

This earned Hobbes a punch in the arm, while Kim continued.

"So spill already, Dr. D. I don't have all day to listen to you pontificate over your next doomed plan, so let's get it over with already."

Drakken began, "Not so fast, Shego. First, I need you to perform a little theft for me. Take the air car and..."

Calvin sat right up. "Wow! They have an _air car_? I bet that it's really cool! What color is it?"

Kim pondered for a moment. "Blue I think, but that's not important now."

The child gushed, "I have a red spaceship, and it can travel as far as the Planet Zork without refueling."

"Uh, that's great, Calvin. Anyway, Drakken ordered, 'I need you to steal this invisibility ray for me, and...' "

Again Calvin interrupted, "Hey, I can make myself invisible too! It's just the things I do _when_ I'm invisible that get me into trouble..."

Kim gave him a stern look before continuing matter-of-factly, "If you don't want this story to end with Dr. Drakken kidnapping a six-year-old boy and his toy tiger, do you think that you could let me finish without any more interruptions, please and thank you?"

Rapt with attention, Calvin hung on Kim's ever word as she continued.

"Stealing the invisibility ray of course is only the first step, Shego. After I bathe you in that ray, not only will you be invisible to any security cameras, but any passive sensors as well, such as sound or heat."

Shego stifled a yawn. "Sounds great. So exactly what am I going through all this trouble for?"

Drakken's grin widened as he warmed to his plot. "To break into one of the most highly guarded facilities on the planet."

Shego started to show the slightest bit of interest. "What, Fort Knox? Area 51?"

He barked, "Hah! That would be child's play for someone with _your_ skills, my dear. No, my sights are even higher: absolute world domination through the miracles of computerized electronic communication!"

Shego's jaw dropped open. "You don't mean..."

He gleefully cackled back, "Yes, Shego. Phil Yates hitherto impenetrable Microsloth Headquarters!"

The raven-haired beauty's mood instantly changed from one of casual boredom to one of intense interest.

"That's great, Doc, but his defenses are absolutely impervious. HenchCo just lost two of their best men trying to break in there only last month. They just... disappeared." She swallowed hard. "Without a trace."

Shego wasn't easily intimidated, but this plot now had her more than a little concerned.

"And thus the absolute need for this invisibility ray first. And you'll find that device at the Tevatron facility in Illinois. It's the largest particle collider in the country, and they've just made an unexpected breakthrough in both particle and wave gravimetrics, which has finally made an invisibility ray practical."

Shego looked at him askance. "Well, that's great, but how in the world did you find out about it?"

He gave a self-conscious laugh. "Well, _heh-heh,_ it seems that Mama Lipsky recently became their, uh, _cleaning woman._.."

Shego burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh, _Drewbie_, you have definitely lucked out this time, haven't you?"

He chuckled back, "Indeed. And since she thinks I'm a radio talk show doctor, she actually called _me_ up and asked my opinion on how it could, er, _help the world_..."

Her face began to glow with an evil glimmer. "More like help _ourselves_ to the world. So, what's the plan?"

"Simplicity itself, Shego. You merely slip into the facility at the same time Mama Lipsky enters to do the nightly cleaning. Here's a schematic of the facility, and the location of the device."

He handed her the diagram. With a shrug, she agreed, "Okay, sounds easy enough. But once I grab it, what will I be eventually stealing from Microsloth?"

Drakken's eyes widened in almost maniacal glee. "Simply the ultra top secret master code with which every computer, smart phone or electronic communications device on the planet can be reprogrammed in _any _fashion I choose. And I will program them all to emit a high frequency pitch just above the range of human hearing, which will have the effect of rendering anyone using said device totally susceptible to post-hypnotic suggestion. And I will of course make the _suggestion_ that the world declare me its _ultimate ruler._"

As he stared off into the distance, his evil cackle echoed throughout the lair. "At the tone, you will all bow down to me, Dr. Drakken, your new master! _Bwah-ha-ha-ha!_"

Shego nodded, "Yeah, I can see why they'd keep a code like that under the tightest security possible." Her own smile began to widen. "And speaking of Possible, when I'm cloaked by that invisibility ray I could take her out with one good plasma blast, since you can't hit what you can't see. And she wouldn't even know what hit her until it was too late."

"Indeed. So take the air car. If you leave right now, you'll make it to Tevatron just in time for Mama Lipsky's shift. Then tomorrow you will simply become a ghostly spectral shadow, by which we shall rule the world!"

He rubbed his hands together in evil glee. "So, which countries would you like to rule first, my dear?"

She grinned back, "Well, I've got dibs on Greece and maybe the Bahamas to start..."

* * *

The next day, Shego returned, the purloined device in her hands.

With barely contained excitement, Drakken cackled, "So, how did it go, Shego?"

"A piece of cake, Dr. D. I slipped into the facility just as planned, no problem at all. And amazingly, the device was exactly where you said it would be. So there's a first time for everything I guess. So I'm beginning to think that this hare-brained scheme of yours just might work after all. Although I've got to say that it seemed almost too easy..."

Impatiently he growled, "Well, let's have a look at it, shall we?"

Shego handed him the device, which he turned over in his hands. Not much larger than a standard assault rifle, its metal barrel was surrounded by a succession of disks and coils, and a control panel embedded in its stock.

"Now, where's the instruction manual?"

Shego cocked an eyebrow. "Instruction manual? What instruction manual?"

Drakken hit himself on the forehead. "Drat! I just _knew_ I'd forget something important if I didn't write it down!"

Shego merely rolled her eyes in response. "You mean you don't know how to work it? Hey, you're not using that thing on me if you don't know what makes it tick, Dr. D."

"Unghh. Now what? Think... think... Ah! I have it!"

He grabbed his cell phone and punched in a number. "Hello, Mama Lipsky? It's Drew. I have a little favor to ask of you..."

An hour later, the schematics of the invisibility ray were softly glowing back from his computer screen. "Good thing she has access to most of the facility there, including their R&D department."

"Yeah, but how did you coach her into sending you the specs without raising either her suspicions?"

"Simple. I just told her that I had a particular caller to my 'radio show' who needed some 'emergency treatment' with the device that we procured on loan from the facility. Heh-heh, she was _more_ than happy to help. Now, I've determined its energy requirements, and although they're quite high, by my calculations we have _just_ enough power if we shut off all other extraneous devices."

Shego grimaced. "And what would those devices be, or do I even have to ask?"

Drakken gave her a sheepish look and threw the main switch, plunging the lair into darkness.

With a heavy sigh she moaned, "Yeah, thought so..."

He quickly flipped on a flashlight. "There. Just right. Now for our first test..."

He aimed the invisibility device at a chair and pulled the trigger. A ray of deep violet lance out, enveloping the chair in an eerie glow. It disappeared in an instant.

Shego was naturally quite surprised. "Wow, Dr. D, it looks like it worked. Unless of course you just disintegrated the thing instead."

"Well, let's find out." He walked over to where the chair had been only moments before. But since it was now invisible, he naturally managed to bark his shin against it. "Ow! Arghh!" He danced up and down on his other leg while he rubbed his painful shin. With a fierce glare he growled, "There, are you happy now?"

Relaxing a bit, he found the invisible seat and tried sitting down. "There! Still totally intact but completely invisible. My first test is a complete success!"

"Yeah, but can you make it visible again?"

"Child's play!" he boasted. Reversing a switch on the handle, he fired again, and the chair reappeared instantly.

"There! Now to try it out on a live subject." In the next few minutes he had made a potted plant, a guinea pig, and the remains of last night's dinner disappear, then reappear with no apparent ill effects.

Shego nodded in approval. "All right, Doc, it seems to work like a charm. But just how long does the effect last? I wouldn't like to accidentally rematerialize right in the middle of a squad of MicroSloth goons at just the wrong moment."

"A good question. We'll just have to find out once I try it out on you." He grinned in eager expectation. "So, are you ready, Shego?"

She gave a small shrug in reply. "I guess. Just as long as you don't try to clone me too. You know how nasty those things can be."

As she gave him a malevolent grin, she hooded her eyes in warning. "And I think you already know how testy I _usually _am."

The evil scientist paled, uncomfortably pulling at his collar in much the same way that Ron usually would.

"Yes, Shego, I'm all too aware of your prickly personality. All right, hold still. This shouldn't hurt a bit."

Shego growled back, "It _better _not."

Drakken carefully pulled the trigger, bathing Shego in its purple glow. Slowly she faded away, then completely disappeared.

"So, Shego. How do you feel?"

She silently circled around behind him and whispered in his ear, "Just fine, Doc."

"GAAHH!" he yelled, dropping the gadget. "What are you trying to do, give me a heart attack?"

He stepped back, and as he did so, a loud crunch was heard. "Oops."

"Uh-oh," Shego groaned.

As he activated the lights, he picked up the device, noting that several of its disks were now fractured.

He smiled sheepishly and mumbled, "Well, the damage doesn't look too bad. Let's see if I can make that plant reappear."

He fired, and for a brief moment the potted begonia rematerialized, only to immediately disintegrate into a tiny pile of ashes. "Oh, dear..."

Shego snarled, "DRAKKEN!"

He took another cautious step back and stuttered, "N-now, don't panic, Shego. I'm sure there's a way to fix this. And also remember that if you seriously injure me in a fit of rage, I may _not_ be able to fix it at all."

Shego growled back, "Remind me to kill you later, then."

Regaining a bit of his composure, he replied, "And remember it was _you_ who startled _me,_ not the other way around."

Shego angrily stomped on the floor in frustration. "Just great, now I'm _stuck _like this! I just _knew_ something like this would happen! It always does and always will! Whenever you start tinkering with something, disaster inevitably follows!"

"Well, not _always,_ Shego. There have been those rare times when... wait, what was that noise?"

"What noise?" Shego griped.

A voice from behind them responded, "Oh, sorry. That would be me."

"Kim Possible!?"

Kim airliy continued, "Drakken, why do you always act so surprised? You know it's inevitable that I'll show up just as soon as I discover that you're up to your old tricks."

Drakken grinned back, his face evilly aglow in the beam of his flashlight. "Indeed. But this time I have a little surprise for _you_. Shego, attack!"

And with that command, he flipped off the flashlight, plunging the lair into darkness. But instead of Shego's usual fierce yell of combat, there was only silence, save for a disgruntled sigh.

"Uh, Dr. D? Just because I'm invisible doesn't mean that _I _can see in the dark."

"Oh. Sorry Shego." He flipped the flashlight back on, only to have it instantly knocked out of his hand. Next he felt a rope being rapidly wrapped around him, tying him up securely.

Kim announced with satisfaction, "There, that oughta hold you. All right, Ron. Hit the lights."

"Roger that, KP!" was her sidekick's quick reply. "Now where... Ow!"

Ron began tripping over items both visible and invisible as he made his way through the darkness to the light switch. Once he flicked it on however, Kim was puzzled to find that Shego was nowhere to be seen.

"Now where did she go? Come out, come out wherever you are, Shego."

The answer came in the form of a swift kick from directly behind her, sending her sprawling across the floor of the lair.

A disembodied voice cackled, "Yeah, not much of a memory you have there, Princess."

Kim sprang up and immediately assumed a defensive stance. "All right, so that invisibility ray really _does_ work."

But she also recalled what Shego had said immediately before: "_Just because I'm invisible doesn't mean I can see in the dark_."

Thinking quickly, she latched onto an idea. "But two can play at that game, Shego. Ron, turn out the lights!"

"You got it, KP!" And with a deft flip of the switch, the lair was once more plunged into darkness.

"Now the odds are even, Shego. I can't see you, but you can't see me either."

Listening intently, Kim tried to discern even the slightest noise in order to determine Shego's exact location. As she did so, she moved closer to where she remembered the exit being.

All right, Shego. To coin a new phrase, you can hide, but you can't run. I'm blocking the exit, so you'll have to get through me to escape."

Shego immediately responded with a fierce yell as she cut loose with several plasma blasts, which narrowly missed the teen heroine, splattering harmlessly on the wall beside her. But the resulting flames were now bright enough to dimly illuminate the lair.

Kim responded with a cheeky rejoinder. "Missed a spot, Shego."

"Yeah? Well I won't miss _this_ time!"

But before Shego could follow through with her threat, a loud clang was heard, followed by a heavy thump as she collapsed to the floor. The lights came back on, and Kim spotted a smiling Ron beaming from ear to ear, a large metal rod in his hands.

"Nice one, Ron! But how could you see Shego in the dark?"

"No problemo, Kim. Once she fired her plasma, I could see exactly where she had been standing. And since she was focused on you, she didn't see me coming. Oh, and one other thing too..."

Kim gazed upon Shego's unconscious form, which had suddenly rematerialized.

"Whoa. I guess using her plasma made her reappear somehow."

"Yup. Invisibility isn't all that's it's cracked up to be if she can't use her plasma and still stay cloaked."

Kim let out a small chuckle as she turned her attention back to the tightly bound mad scientist. "Well, Drakken. I guess you can tell Shego why your little experiment failed, once you're both on your way back to Cell Block D."

The evil doctor glared back at her. "You think you're _all that_, Kim Possible, but you're not! Just wait until next time. I will have my revenge!"

He began to calm down as another thought crossed his mind. "Oh, and by the way, just how did you discover me so quickly? This was fast even for _you_."

"Well, I have to thank Wade for that. He's been monitoring your cell phone and internet use. Since this lair's out in the middle of nowhere, he could easily trace your communications to Mama Lipsky at Tevatron, after they discovered that their invisibility ray had been stolen."

Drakken's computer screen flared to life, and Wade's grinning face immediately appeared. "And not only that, but I've been recording all of your conversations within your lair once Shego returned with the device."

Drakken fumed, "But that's illegal!"

Kim snickered, "Not after the judge okayed the tap, Drakken. As usual, you rock, Wade!"

Wade cheerily replied before signing off, "Thanks, Kim."

Kim gave Drakken a smug look. "Besides, your little accusation sounds suspiciously like the pot calling the kettle black."

Ron licked his lips. "And all this just makes me hungry for a little Bueno Nacho, Kim."

She nodded. "Sounds great, Ron. Right after Global Justice makes their pickup here."

"Gee, that might be a while KP. I wonder if they deliver..."

Kim merely groaned in response.

* * *

Back in Calvin's room, Kim gave a self-satisfied sigh. "The end."

'Wow, that was a great story, Kim!"

"And every word of it is true."

Calvin was nearly ecstatic. "Really?!"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

"Wow! Cool!"

"But now it's time to go to sleep."

He frowned. "Aww..."

Brightening up, he asked, "But you can come over and babysit again sometime, right? And tell me another awesome bedtime story?"

Realizing she'd just won a minor victory, she thought to herself, "Yeah, maybe I will..."

Suddenly, the lights flickered, then went out.

Kim muttered, "Uh oh. I've got a bad feeling about this..."

After a few seconds, the lights came back on. Kim's Kimmunicator immediately signaled with its ubiquitous beep.

"Wade, what's the sitch?"

"It's a Drakken sighting, Kim. A top secret research lab was broken into tonight. Witnesses identified Shego as the perp."

Calvin sat straight up in bed. "Whoa! You mean the same bad guys in your story? So those evil villains really _do _exist?"

Kim waved for quiet while she queried her computer expert. "Wade, Any idea of the nature of the lab or what was pilfered?"

"Unfortunately yes, Kim. This particular lab was doing experiments with time travel. The scientific team says they had built a device, and they were close to a breakthrough."

Calvin was by now ecstatic. "Wow! That's way too cool!"

Hobbes shushed him. "Hey, keep it down! I want to hear this..."

Kim paled. "Sounds like a prime target for Drakken. And if he and Shego can somehow learn how to travel through time..."

Wade finished her dire thought. "Then we're all in deep trouble, and we wouldn't even know anything was wrong until it was already too late."

"Well, _that _sounds ferociously bad."

"You got it, Kim."

"But seriously, Wade, what are the real chances here? The way my dad talks, time travel's impossible, and therefore so not the drama. Except in Captain Constellation episodes, of course."

"And Spaceman Spiff!" Calvin piped up.

Wade answered, "Maybe. But can we really take that kind of chance? That blackout we just experienced was nearly statewide. Even worse, its epicenter happens to be in the same location as Drakken's last known lair."

"So you think Drakken may be trying to tap into the power grid in order to power his ill-gotten time machine?"

"That's the way it looks to me, Kim."

"Then this may be a _real_ emergency. I'll call Ron to get over here and watch Calvin while I check this new sitch out."

Calvin began jumping up and down on the bed. "Ooh! Ooh! Can I come? Can I come? Pretty _plleeeaasse_? With Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs on top?"

Kim firmly wagged her head. "Calm down, Calvin. You're not going anywhere. It's too dangerous. Your parents would totally kill me if I did, and probably ground you until you were at least thirty."

Calvin stuck out his lower lip in frustration and pouted, "Aw, gee, I never get to have any fun..."

But Hobbes quickly whispered, "Hey, I've got an idea..." As he continued, Calvin's devilish smile reappeared.

Fifteen minutes later, Ron's scooter could be heard pulling up into the driveway. Meeting him at the door, Kim said, "Thanks for making it over here so quick, Ron. Just watch Calvin until I get back. Hopefully I won't be too long. If Calvin's parents return before I return, just tell them there was a family emergency."

"A family emergency, KP?"

"Yeah. We're all part of the _human race_ family, right? And that's what might just be at stake here. Calvin's asleep in his room upstairs, just check in on him every so often, please and thank you?"

He gave her a quick salute. "Sure thing, Kim, no problemo. And good luck."

As she raced to her car, Ron scooted inside and went upstairs to check on which room Calvin was in. As he heard her drive away, he felt a cold draft come from one of the rooms. Entering it and flipping on the light, he noticed that the window was open. The bed was empty, and several sheets had been tied together and draped out the open window.

"Oh, snap..."

Racing down the stairs, Ron rushed into the front yard.

"Calvin? Calvin! It's Ron Stoppable, Kim's friend! Where are you?"

But the only answer he heard was the gentle wafting of the cool evening breeze.

"Oh, this is _so_ not good..."

_**To Be Concluded...**_


	4. Stupendous Man to the Rescue

_With the conclusion of Tiger By The Tail, I've now completed my 20th Kim Possible story, just in time for my 5th anniversary on the FanFiction site. It's been a wild ride so far, and the power of imagination hasn't flagged yet, so I hope to keep on writing for years to come. Just like the Energizer Bunny, those plot bunnies just keep on going, and going, and going..._

_Next, many thanks to those who left reviews for the last chapter: Sharper the Writer, temporaryinsanity91, Sentinel103, Fanatic97, Eddy13, CajunBear73, Soulfulbard, Jimmy1201, OMAC001, Beckman, and guests. I've enjoyed eveyone's mutual excitement over this story in general and the anticipation of the grand finale which follows, so I hope it meets all of your expectations. Also, after this posting, I'm going to try and change its category over to a true Crossover instead of just a Kim Possible fic, since I wanted to make sure that all in the Kimmunity had a chance to read it first. _

_So hold onto your hats and stuffed animals, ladies and gentlemen, and return your tray tables to their full upright position: it's going to be a bumpy landing!_

* * *

Quickly scanning up and down the street, Ron noticed that all was quiet, and neither Calvin nor Kim's car were to be seen.

He wagged his head. "I warned her that he was gonna be a handful, and not to underestimate that little terror. Oh well..."

He jumped on his scooter and turned the key. "I just hope I'm not too late. Now where exactly was Drakken's last lair? Oh yeah, that's right..."

Revving up the moped, he took off down the street in his pursuit of Kim and her secret stowaway.

* * *

Twenty minutes later in the foothills just outside of town, a lone light from a rather forbidding looking building's skylight softly illuminated the countryside. From within, a blue-skinned villain was using equally blue language as his screwdriver slipped, gouging his hand.

"Ow!" He grabbed his throbbing finger and let out another curse.

Shego chuckled back, "Take your time, Dr. D. Possible's on a babysitting job at the moment, so we've got plenty of time."

Drakken frowned back, "True. And by tapping into her phone line instead of breaking directly into her computer, she's none the wiser. But that doesn't mean we should simply take _our _time in getting this device operational."

He gave the time machine a gentle pat, then made a few final connections. "There! Now the entire state's power grid is connected to my newest acquisition. And before the night is over, Kim Possible will be no more!"

Shego's mind reeled with about a half dozen snarky comebacks, but ended by simply asking, "And just how do you plan on doing that?"

"Well, we merely prevent Kimberly Ann's parents from meeting in the first place." He gave her a sheepish look. "Ironically, their fateful first date occurred the same night that my original Bebebots failed to make the grade as dates for my colleagues James Possible, Robert Chen and that Ramesh fellow."

Shego's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "You mean James and Anne Possible ended up hooking up because of _you_?"

He began to wilt beneath her withering stare. "Uh, yes, so it would seem. But if we got him a _different_ date, things would undoubtedly turn out _quite_ differently..."

He gave her a hopeful look, to which her jaw dropped open as soon as she caught on to his implication.

"Whoa! No way, Dr. D! You want _me_ to date Possible's dad?!"

He stammered back, "Only briefly of course, Shego. Nothing serious, mind you. Just long enough to keep James and Anne from meeting. And you can then savor the fact that you were _personally_ responsible in preventing Kim Possible from even being born!"

Shego scratched her chin, a smile slowly spreading across her face. "Yeah, that would be pretty ironic all right. Okay, but just as long as it's _only_ temporary, clear?"

Drakken rubbed his hands together and handed her a medium sized box. "Absolutely crystal clear, my dear. Now, why don't you try on this emerald-colored cocktail dress? I think you'll find it fits you to a tee."

Shego raised a suspicious eyebrow at the thought of how Drakken knew her exact dress size, but just gave a small shrug as she went to change.

* * *

Meanwhile, a six-year old boy and his stuffed tiger quietly snickered between themselves as they hid inside the trunk of Kim's car as she raced toward Drakken's lair. "Good plan, Hobbes! As soon as Kim used her electronic key to unlock the car door, I climbed in and popped the trunk open while she was talking with her fiancé."

Hobbes paused. "Uh, I don't think that's her fiancé. Not yet at least."

Calvin gave him a disgruntled look. "What, are you a psychic now? Or..."

He noticed Hobbes sentimental sigh and the far off look in his glassy eyes. "Oh man, don't tell me you have a crush on her _too_, now?"

"Well, she does have red hair and green eyes, although I wish she had stripes and whiskers too."

Calvin frowned, "You're crazy, Hobbes. You know that?"

"Well, not as crazy as _you _are about Susie Derkins."

He hissed back, "Hey, you leave her out of this, you lunkhead! I do _not _have a crush on her!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

Hobbes shushed, "Hey, keep your voice down, or else Kim will hear."

"Oh yeah. Stupendous Man needs to activate his super stealth mode anyway in preparation for meeting the evil Dr. Drakken face to face. Boy, Kim will be so surprised when the Defender of Freedom and Fighter for Liberty saves the day!"

"Really? What about Captain Napalm, Defender of the American Way?"

"Nah, this is really a job for Stupendous Man. Captain Napalm just likes to blow things up."

"Oh, as opposed to just knocking buildings down?"

"Yeah, you sissy..."

A few minutes later, the car slowed, the stopped. Kim quietly exited her vehicle and stealthily approached Dr. Drakken's forbidding lair.

"Well, I guess I'll take the usual way in. First to the roof, then down through the air vents."

She pulled out her ubiquitous grappling hook cleverly disguised as a hair dryer, and fired. The hook caught on the roof's edge, and the retracting mechanism swiftly whisked her to the top of the roof, where she used her laser lipstick case to slice off the attachment bolts to the air conditioning duct. Silently she crawled in and began to make her way to the lair's central hall, where she expected to surprise Drakken in her usual manner. He would sputter out "Kim Possible?!" in astonishment, just as always, to which she would reply with a clever rejoinder.

"Hmm, I seem to be fresh out of new Drakken insults. What glib comment haven't I used lately? Maybe I'll just catch him off guard and cut right to, 'Shego! Attack!' just to shake them both up."

Now at her destination, she carefully unscrewed the HVAC grill and dropped catlike behind the two apparently unsuspecting villains. But no sooner had she landed on the floor than Shego and Drakken both turned to face her. Drakken flashed a wicked grin as he cackled, "Welcome, Kimberly Ann. I've been expecting you."

Shego likewise smiled back, her plasma already active and aimed at a small child who was tied up and hanging from a support pillar by his tiny red cape and cowl. Kim gasped in horror. "Calvin?"

Drakken cackled, "Shame on you, Kimberly Ann. Bringing an innocent child along on your doomed mission to defeat me. Tsk-tsk. If I weren't already a wanted villain, I would report you to Middleton's Child Services. Still, the little tyke simply walked right in through the front door, so I suppose I can't place _all_ the blame on you."

Kim grit her teeth as she narrowed her eyes at the despicable pair. "Well, this is a new low, even for _you_, Drakken. And it means that when I finally apprehend you two, you'll be taking up _permanent_ residence in Cell Block D."

Drakken shot her a smug look. "I think not, Kimberly Ann. No matter how fast you move, Shego can shoot even faster."

"Oh, I see. One false move and the kid gets it, right?"

With another sarcastic tsk he easily replied, "Even worse than that. You will surrender _immediately_, or else the child gets to experience one of Shego's plasma bolts, up close and personal."

Kim was now deeply concerned, but tried to put on her game face. "Yeah, but if you do that, then there's nothing left to keep me from using all sixteen styles of my Kung Fu on _both_ of your sorry butts." She added with a smirk, "And it will be no holds barred: cross my heart and hope you die."

Calvin yelled out, "Let me down from here, ya big blue freak! Stupendous Man will not rest until you evildoers are brought to justice! And then Hobbes here will be_ really_ happy to enjoy you two as a little snack!"

As Drakken and Shego continued to stare down Kim, she carefully continued, "So what we have here is a classic standoff. You lay a single tendril of plasma on that child, and it's all over for both of you. But all _I _have to do is wait for Ron to arrive."

Shego snorted back, "Who, the buffoon? Hah! Dream on, Cupcake. He's about as effective as a peashooter is against a tank."

Kim returned her insult with an all-knowing smile. "You should know better than to underestimate that goofy exterior, Shego. You know as well as I do that he's done some pretty amazing things, and usually when you least expect it."

Shego simply glared back at her, knowing full well what Ron was capable of, even if totally by accident.

"And don't forget that Wade probably has a squad of Global Justice agents on the way here, just as a little backup." She continued with a snicker. "Or mop-up, as is usually the case."

Kim gave them both an even stare, hoping they would fall for her bluff, knowing full well that she had no idea where Ron was at the moment. And Wade had already warned her that the nearest GJ agents were at least an hour away because of another mission.

Kim's hopes sank as Drakken proudly huffed back, "Well, today they'll be too late. Because in just a little more than a minute from now, Shego and I are going on a little trip."

He flipped a switch, and a deep hum began.

"A trip into the past to be exact, to prevent you from even being born, Kimberly Ann. I've tapped into every electrical reserve in the entire state, just the kind of power I need to activate this time travel device. And there's nothing you can do to stop me now, so..."

Shego's sudden gasp caused him to glance over at her. They both immediately noticed the empty red cape and cowl where Calvin had been just been hanging only moments before.

"Hey! Where did that kid go?"

On the floor directly below the cape was Calvin's shirt, pants, and...

"Underwear?" Shego gaped. "How in the world could he possibly have gotten loose and then undressed so quickly?"

Drakken growled, "He's disappeared into thin air!"

Kim stifled a giggle. "Not quite..."

A naked child's behind suddenly disappeared behind some equipment.

Kim burst into laughter, relieved that the shoe was most definitely on the other foot now, and that the two villains were about to experience the same terrifying mischief that the tiny terror had been dishing out all evening. Knowing how quickly he could turn his own home into a disaster area without even trying, she shuddered to think of the absolute mayhem Calvin could create when he _really _put his mind to it.

She gave them an off-handed warning. "Just a word to the wise? Surrender while you still have a chance. You're totally outmatched, take my word for it."

Calvin whispered to Hobbes, "Hah! Now that Stupendous Man is totally invisible, now's the time to spring our clever plan on these two evildoers! First I'll use my frap ray on this equipment!"

Pulling out his reserve squirt gun, he began firing at the closest control panel. And since water and electricity are not the best of friends, the panel quickly erupted into a shower of sparks.

"No!" Drakken yelled. "Shego, attack!"

As the bare-bottomed Calvin raced through the lair, Shego tried to take a few potshots at the tyke to try and slow him down. But with years of experience evading his ever-pursuing mom, he easily dodged every shot, and all Shego managed to hit was critical electronic equipment which naturally went up in sheets of flame.

Drakken warned, "Shego! Watch where you're shooting! There's so much power surging through this equipment, you could end up incinerating us all!"

Shego responded with a dirty look, which gave Kim just the opening she'd been looking for. Without a word, the redheaded heroine launched herself at the dark-haired villainess, forcing Shego back on the defensive. While they engaged in hand-to-hand combat, Drakken was forced to go after Calvin himself.

"Come back here, you little scamp! No, don't go behind there!"

As the frustrated Drakken pursued Calvin, the wily child was managing to knock over nearly every piece of equipment that wasn't tied down, and amazingly, even a few that were. Pyrotechnics brightly lit up the entire lair, and several fires had broken out.

"Stop that right now, you little troublemaker! You'll ruin everything!"

But Calvin was too quick for Drakken, and continued to wreak havoc as he had never wreaked before. Meanwhile, the digital readout continued with its inexorable countdown.

"Shego! We only have twenty seconds left to make it through the portal!"

Shego backed up toward the now wavering portal, firing shot after shot at Kim, who deftly avoided each plasma bolt while steadily closing in on her enemy. But would she still be able to prevent the two villains from escaping into the past to carry out their threat to prevent her from even being born?

Drakken ceased his pursuit of the irascible child and instead made a beeline for the portal, while Calvin looked down at his faithful friend.

"So! Stupendous Man's stupendous invisibility has prevented him from being captured, but time has almost run out! Will he be able to help Kim prevent the mad scientist and his fiendish sidekick from carrying out their dastardly plot, or is it all over for our heroes?"

Hobbes evenly replied, "Well, if you'd stop talking about yourself in the third person, we might just find out."

Thinking quickly, Calvin growled, "I have a plan. But it's dangerous, Hobbes. You could get hurt."

He quickly whispered in his pet tiger's ear. His friend grinned back with an off-handed shrug.

"Hey, that's what I do every day anyway as soon as you come home from school, so no problem. But I could use a little boost to get just the right angle and momentum, so I'm ready when you are."

Calvin picked up Hobbes, and with one mighty heave, flung Hobbes toward the master control panel. Hobbes smashed into it full force in just the same way he would pounce on Calvin the moment the child opened his front door upon returning from school. Calvin gave a wild whoop as the panel obligingly exploded into a spectacular multicolored electrical display. And just as Shego and Drakken reached the portal, it immediately collapsed, the two villains ignominiously hitting the wall directly behind it and nearly knocking themselves senseless.

The excited child jumped up and exclaimed, "Direct hit! Stupendous Man and his faithful sidekick save the day!"

An ominous computer voice now began to intone, "Warning. Systems Overload. Self destruct sequence activated. Fifteen... fourteen... thirteen..."

Drakken yelled out, "No! This can't be happening!"

With a disgruntled look, Shego snapped back, "Well Doc, it looks like you're on your own. I'm outta here."

Shego made a beeline for the exit, nearly bowling over Ron, who had suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Hey, KP! You okay? I think Calvin stowed away in your..."

But one look at the total disaster surrounding him made any warning completely unnecessary.

"Uh, but you probably already knew that by now..."

Kim hastily cut him off. "I know! Quick, grab Calvin and get him out of here right now, while I get his clothes! This place is about to blow!"

But as Ron scooped up Calvin, the child yelled out, "Hobbes! I've got to save Hobbes!"

Kim grabbed both the stuffed tiger and Calvin's clothing and yelled back, "I've got him, Ron! Now let's get out of here!"

The amazed child looked up at Ron in surprise. "Wow! You must have Gamma Ray Vision in order to see me while I'm invisible, One Who Is Called Ron."

The teen whispered back in a conspiratorial tone, "Actually, it's my Mystical Monkey Power. I'm a superhero just like you."

Calvin's eyes lit up. "Whoa! That's so cool! What other powers do you have?"

"Well, the power of imagination is pretty high on the list. And I sorta get the feeling that your bon-diggity imagination is pretty wild-a-roney too."

As soon as they all got outside, the lair made its obligatory explosion, collapsing into a heap of smoking rubble. Now reunited with both his clothes and his best friend, Calvin exclaimed, "Hobbes! You made it!"

"Of course! Because Kim loves tigers, and I love babes who love tigers, you know."

Calvin quickly put his clothes back on, claiming to be merely resuming his secret identity.

Kim winked at the kid. "Good job, Stupendous Man. And don't worry, your secret's safe with us."

The child looked back up at Kim with a wide grin. "Likewise. And thanks for rescuing Hobbes. He's a real hero for nearly sacrificing his life for us."

Kim smiled back at him. "Yup, he sure is. He got a little scorched though. Look."

A few stray sparks had singed his fur coat. Calvin immediately looked deeply concerned. "You okay, Hobbes?"

The tiger assured his friend, "Sure, it's just a flesh wound. Easily repaired... er, _healed_, that is."

At that moment, Rufus awoke from his evening nap and popped out of Ron's pocket. Staring curiously at the stuffed tiger, he cautiously sniffed at its tail, which gave a rather large twitch in response. This was enough to send the now panicked naked mole rat scurrying up Ron's arm, fearfully chattering away.

Concerned over what might be the matter, Ron queried, "What is it, Rufus?"

The tiny mole rat wildly gesticulated at Hobbes, pantomiming that the stuffed toy was actually alive.

Ron merely waved a dismissive hand in response. "Oh, Rufus. That's just Calvin's toy tiger, Hobbes. He's not alive, he's just a stuffed animal, so you can amp down."

Rufus took another look at Hobbes, whose fangs looked even larger as the tiger seemed now to be smiling back at him. With one last squeak of terror, he quickly dashed back into the safety of Ron's pocket.

Kim breathed a small sigh. "Well, I guess that's enough excitement for one evening."

Ron chimed in, "Uh, that's probably enough excitement to last us the entire _month_, KP."

"I totally agree. And Calvin? Not a word of this to _anybody_, or else we're _all_ in big trouble."

"Aw, nobody?" whined Calvin.

She thought carefully for a moment. "Well, you've got Hobbes, haven't you?"

Calvin brightened up. "Sure do!"

Relieved, Kim nodded back, "Good. Now let's get you home before your parents wonder what's happened to us..."

* * *

_**Epilogue**_

Returning home, Calvin's parents walked in the front door, pleased to have gotten at least a few hours of peace and quiet away from their hyperactive son as they enjoyed their anniversary dinner together. The woman suddenly stopped and whispered to her husband, "Dear, it's real quiet."

He anxiously replied, "Yeah, too quiet."

Kim appeared at the door of the kitchen and cheerfully said, "Hi! So how was your dinner?"

He cautiously answered, "It was fine. Thanks for asking." He fearfully queried, "So, how was Calvin?"

She confidently replied, "Oh, just the usual, I guess."

She recalled the many super villains she had battled in the past and giggled, "No trouble at all really, especially with what I'm used to."

The mother furtively whispered to her husband, "Oh my gosh, do you think she's _killed_ him?"

She quickly ran upstairs to check on her son. Flipping on the light in his room, she was relieved to see Calvin sit up in bed and rub his sleepy eyes, his stuffed tiger snuggled right next to him. "Oh, hi Mom. What's up?"

"Are... are you okay, Calvin?"

"Oh just great, Mom! Kim was really cool and took me on a real awesome mission with her, and..."

Hobbes instantly hissed in his ear, "Shhh! You promised Kim you wouldn't tell..."

He gave his pet tiger a conspiratorial grin and whispered back, "Oh, yeah! Thanks, Hobbes..."

Out loud he continued, "That is, what I meant to say was, uh, Kim told me an awesome bedtime story _about _one of her missions. Can you hire her again some time?"

She nodded back weakly and answered, "Of course, dear, certainly... Goodnight, Calvin."

"G'night Mom."

Turning out the light, she unsteadily walked back down the stairs. Feeling a bit faint, she sat down on the couch and mumbled, "He's perfectly fine, dear. And... and he seems to have actually _enjoyed _having Kim as his babysitter..."

Turning back to Kim, he smiled and opened his wallet, paying her the agreed upon fee which she happily accepted.

Then, as an afterthought, he reached in and pulled out another $20. "I don't know how you did it, but here's a little extra just to show our appreciation."

Kim's eyes widened in surprise. "Gee, thanks so much!"

He nodded back, then bent down and whispered in her ear, "I know Calvin can be a handful at times. But if you'd ever like to share with me how you survived... I mean, uh, _managed_ the evening so well, I'd be forever in your debt."

She smiled back and simply stated, "Well, it's really a matter of attitude I guess. And like I've always said, nothing's impossible for a Possible."

As she walked to her car, she glanced up at Calvin's bedroom window. She could have sworn that she saw the glowing green eyes of a tiger blinking back at her in pleasant approval.

Wade beeped in. "Good job, Kim. The authorities have just taken Drakken and Shego away, and that's one more lair we can chalk up as destroyed."

From the passenger seat, Ron whined, "Yeah, but when Calvin blabs about what _really_ happened, Kim may be blacklisted from any more babysitting jobs for the rest of her life!"

Kim chuckled back, "So not the sitch, Ron. I never thought that it was even possible that I'd ever meet someone with a wilder imagination than you, but Calvin definitely takes the cake. And if his parents are at all aware of his frequent flights of fancy, and I'm ferociously sure that they are, then even if Calvin _does_ tell them literally everything that happened tonight, they'd never believe him."

"So we're totally safe then, KP?"

"We're golden, Ron."

"Well, _that's_ a bon-diggity relief." He continued with a smirk, "So, ya think you might do another job for them sometime?"

Kim tapped her chin while she considered that possibility. "I'd have to think pretty carefully about that. Tonight's mission was a little too close for comfort as far as I'm concerned. But if I could somehow get the night off from our typical villain du jour, that would be a distinct possibility."

Kim flashed him the wad of cash she'd just received as payment.

Ron's eyes shot wide open at the amount. "Wow, KP! I think we're about due for some snackage at Bueno Nacho's new midnight drive-through!" He smacked his lips. "Your treat, of course?"

Kim giggled back, "Yes, my treat, Ron."

As Kim drove away, a little boy slept soundly, dreaming happily of tigers and super villains. And of a particular teen heroine whom he now was convinced really _could _do anything, at least with a little help from Stupendous Man.

_**The End **_


End file.
